Gwackamolee

Gwackamolee

I met these Mexican fellars tuther day. They was havin a big party cause one a there cuzins was havin a baby. They was real naborly an offered me to join the party. Well ya’ll no that Cuzin Charlie ain’t never gonna turn down no free meal, even iffin he ani’t go no clue what hes a eatin.

They had this stuff what lookin alot like pond scum. It were green an smooth within little peeces of red stuff stickin up in it. I never new no Mexican fellars afor an I’m not a body to look poorly on a fellar just causin he ain’t got enuff sense not to eat pond scum, so smiled and watched em. In a minute a cute little gal walked over a put a big glob a that there pond scum on my plate an smiled real big in Mexican likein I was supposed to eat it. She gived me thangs what looked like chittlins too. I weren’t gonna be mean at there shindig so I sayed a prayer to the good Lord and put the chittlin in the pond scum an eat it. It were really good!

I found me a Mexican fellar what could talk hillbilly purdy good and asked him bout the pond scum. He told me how to stur some up and I ‘m gonna tell you right now.

3-4 AVACADOs - theys green things that’s dun turned black and feels mushy (that must be one a thum there translashun errers with em beeun green that turnen black)

SOUR CREAM - bout ½ pappy’s coffee cup  (I still caint figgur out why they don’t just use some fresh cow milk, but this here stuff tastes purdy good in the pond scum tuff what they calls Gwackamolee)

SALSA - the other ½ a pappy’s coffee cup – this a concockshun of tomaters, onyuns, green thangs all slopped together like suckatash. The Mexican fellars whips up ther own, but he dun told me ya can buy at a store iffin you got one handy

Here’s how ya mix er up

Git ya a bowl bigginuff to hold all the stuff

Peel the skin offin them Avacado thangs an take that ther big slimy seed out the middle

Toss em in the bowl - the green stuff that is not the peels an seeds

Dump that sour cream stuff from pappy’s cup in the bowl

Dump that salsa stuff in on top

Git yer tater masher iffin ya got one, if ya ain’t ya'll can git a big spoon or yer egg beater an use it

Smash er all togethur til it looks like pond scum

Stick yer finger in it an taste to see iffin you need salt, pepper, or some a dat there hot sause I was tellin ya bout the tothur day to spice er up a bit

Iffin ya can git yer folks to try it I’m a thinkin they gonna like it just like me. Them Mexican fellars what showed me how to eat it, likes to put it on little chittlin thangs they calls TORTILLA CHIPS. They was good an crunchy kinda like when granny yusta burn the mush fer brekfest.

Well I sure hopes ya'll like my Mexican frends pond scum stuff. Him an me has becum good buddys and we is sharin all kind a good stuf within each an other so I’ll give ya’ll some more his goodies later.

Let’s eat,

Cuzin Charlie